Stimulus (cough) Payment

Important info on the Stimulus Payment

“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

“Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

“A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

“Q. Where will the government get this money?

“A. From taxpayers.

“Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

“A. Only a smidgen.

“Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

“A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

“Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

“A.  Shut up.”

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India .

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan .

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or  tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

~ by aprilwine on January 27, 2009.

2 Responses to “Stimulus (cough) Payment”

  1. This is a segment of an article written by a radical, alarmist named Gary North.

    This guy predicted that Y2K was going to ruin the industrialized world (WRONG) and scared people into hording their money and hide inside of their houses. Lots of people who listened to him lost thousands and millions of dollars because of this (including one of my relatives). You can read about his crazy ideas here:

    Most of what is written in this email is not proven to be fact and is of various opinions and segments of other opinion pieces. The first part of this article was written about the 2008 stimulous package! So be careful about what goes around and what you believe, there’s almost always a lot more to the story.

    Don’t spread fear, spread the truth!

  2. Hi Anon, why are you anon? I do appreciate you stopping by, but this was funny to me and sadly somewhat true. If you disagree, oh well.

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